I know "being alone" isn't a bad thing. Some people can't handle it. Some people thrive on proximity to other human beings. Sometimes, I envy them.
And other times, I don't. I can honestly say I enjoy being by myself 90% of the time. I find that I'm one of those people who likes to just sit and think. Yes, I know there are better things I could be doing. But are they really better? I'm not sure. Haven't quite come to a conclusion on that one. I like sitting and doing things just by myself. Watching movies. Reading. Writing. Drawing. Talking to myself. None of those require other people. But does that make me a loner?
Coming to college, there are so many new people. Wonderful people. Problem. Karli, here, doesn't make friends that easily. But is that a problem? I have friends. Amazing, incredible friends who have been with me, most of them, for 6 or 7 years. And I plan on keeping them around. Don't get me wrong, now. I have made new friends here. I have an awesome FHE group and a couple other fun people that I enjoy being with. But that's the thing. I'm hardly ever with them. I'm good with my "long-term" friendships. I'd do anything for the handful of people who have shaped me into the person I am. Maybe that's my issue. I guess I don't see any of these "new" people sticking around in my future. I mean, honestly, how many of them am I going to see after this first year when we're all forced to live in close proximity? Maybe I just find it hard to motivate my self to put forth any effort when I don't see it going anywhere. Is that a bad thing? I mean, you can never have too many friends, right? But I think I have a deeper definition of "friend." Someone who's proved themselves through time. Is that unfair? Am I not giving people a chance? If they happen to stick around, then great! I'm sure we'll be great friends someday!
Do I sound like a pessimist? I don't mean to. I am so unbelievably blessed. I'm so thankful for all the amazing people I've met, and I couldn't ask for better friends. So am I just complacent and bad at forming relationships? Maybe. Really, I have no clue.
Just thinking.
On a semi-related topic, I had some wonderful visitors last week. :)
It is not wrong to like to be alone. It is a gift. Just be sure that you don't turn into a hermit. If your hair gets wild and you stop showering to keep people away... then it'll be a problem :) Love you!
ReplyDeleteI'm with your mom. Judicious use of time, I would say.
ReplyDeleteAnd where was T when the crew was in town? Didn't the guys stay at his house?
And excuse me, sister. Skirt and shoes? To DIE for!
It was really interesting to me to read this post, because I honestly am the same way. I like to be alone, and I only have a few close friends that I've had forever. I've had roommates that I got along with, but it's like you were saying - they haven't withstood the test of time.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear someone feels the same.
And nope, I don't think you're a hermit!!! :)
Mom- That picture was taken when they were leaving on Sunday afternoon. I was talking to the Bishop about my papers, and unfortunately was unable to be in the picture, but I was there.
ReplyDelete