Dear Mr. Mailman,

Let's cooperate.

I really hate it when I get a letter back that I sent several weeks ago with a little yellow sticker that says, "Vacant: Unable to forward." Don't play games with me. I know very well that's Jeff's current correct address because everyone else who's writing him said so, and they're not having any problems. I mean, he's only in Alabama. It's not like he's over seas or anything. You don't have foreign customs to excuse your folly.

Speaking of over seas, you seem to have no problem with that one, even if it does take a little long. Jono got his letter, and I had one in return from him within a couple weeks. Everything went swimmingly. FYI, I put another one in the mailbox this morning to be shipped off to England, so I better not find it returned in my mailbox after a month. If you can do England, what's the deal with Alabama?

Warning. In the next few months, I will have you traipsing your United States' Postal Service blue-trousered hiney all up and down Long Island, Staten Island, and Bermuda. And I expect no problems. So suck it up, and start making things work. Tucker will get his letters. Or else.

Do we have an agreement?

Thought so.


Love,
The girl whose friends are all leaving on missions cuz they're so awesome so she makes sure you're provided with a job.