Just for Me

I made a list. Why? Because life is boring. Not bad boring, just kind of stagnant. Full of good things but not really going anywhere. No excitement. Not even a lot of stress. Which also means not a lot of growth. Problem. So I made a list. Because I have someone to be and lessons to learn and things to improve.


A couple days ago, I read this:


 10 And now, because of their ^asteadfastness when they do believe in that thing which they do believe, for because of their firmness when they are once enlightened, behold, the Lord shall bless them and prolong their days, notwithstanding their iniquity—


...and the words "steadfastness" and "firmness" particularly stood out. I've been "enlightened" per say, but how am I firm and steadfast? This, along with a letter from my best friend reminding me to enjoy living in the present and not in the future forced me to stop and think about things. Thus the list was born to help me be a better human being in general and find fulfillment in life.


1. meaningful prayer


2. scripture study


3. service


4. take time to think, not daydream


5. study and stay on track with my homework


6. go to bed before midnight


It's been going well, but after a few days, I realized that one of the major things missing in my life are hobbies. Things I do for no other reason than that they satisfy me and feed my soul. I used to spend a lot of time doing stuff like this, almost to the point where I wasn't giving time to the other important things in my life like studying. But for the last little while, I've over-corrected and haven't spent any time doing things I truly love, and my soul has been feeling rather empty because of it.


It hit me the other night as I sat down to play the piano. I don't know why I did it. I used to sit down and play for literally hours at a time, not having to think about anything pressing, just being fed by the music in front of me. So I sat down two nights ago and played. It was like an automatic musical high. I felt lifted, I felt happy, I felt peace, I felt accomplished. And then I did it again last night. And it'll probably happen again tonight. Or maybe I'll pull out my guitar or ukulele that's been under my bed for about 3 weeks since I moved. Or maybe I'll pull down my sketch book from the top of my closet and the charcoal pencils from my drawer. Any thing to keep me grounded in remembering who I am and enjoying living life in the moment.