Tuesday, August 11, 2015

On Adulting

You'd think that a couple who owns their own car, has a 1 yr old, and lives debt free (knocking on wood this will continue) would have this whole adult thing down.

But no.

We pretend. And sometimes, we're really good at pretending. Like little kids playing dress-up.

But the sad fact of the matter is that we still act more like immature college kids than anything.

We mostly eat junk. Our house is mostly a wreck. We like to sleep too much. We don't exercise. We waste too much time on screens.

Like normal people, we go through bouts of productivity, but after a few days, we lose motivation and fall back into the "easy." 

Except junk food and a messy house and too much sleep and laziness and endless Netflix is enough to drive anyone crazy, not to mention young kinda-still-newly-weds with a toddler and college classes and an anxiety disorder.

So we sat down and talked about it yesterday, and we're determined to change. And posting it on my blog means we HAVE to change, right? (haha, yay internet accountability)

Some ways we're going to change:

1. Establish and stick to a productive morning routine.
  • Wake up every morning when the alarm goes off. No snoozing. Cuddling is allowed, but falling back to sleep is not.
  • Get up. Tucker eats breakfast and takes his turn in the bathroom while Karli does yoga.
  • Family scripture study and prayer following the Seminary Student Manual.
  • Tucker leaves for class or work. Or Karli eats breakfast and leaves for work.
  • Flexibility depending on when teeny girl wakes up.

2. Stick to the chore chart.
  • I don't know how many times I've made a chore chart. And then it gets forgotten a couple weeks later. See how good we are at adulting? Ha.
  • Separate chores into daily, weekly, and monthly chores.
  • Dishes, laundry, living room, bedroom, baby's room, bathroom, kitchen.
  • DO. THEM.
  • I guess this one doesn't get much more complicated.

3. Establish and stick to an evening routine.
  • Dinner, which shall be planned ahead and prepared for. Meal plans. Shopping lists. The whole shebang.
  • Tidy up the kitchen.
  • Baby's bed routine.
  • Tidy each side of our room.
  • Hang out. Read. Journal. Craft. Do homework. Watch a movie. Whatever.
  • Bed time.

Three main areas of improvement. We're hoping that organizing these 3 areas will keep us on top of things and relieve the chaos that seems to descend the moment we turn our backs. We'll divide up tasks based on who's home. This fall, with Tucker teaching 4 classes and taking 15 credits, I'll be home a lot more than I have been, which means a lot of the cleaning will fall to me. But I think with yoga first thing in the morning and a structure to each day, I'll feel a little more in control of my world and be able to manage my anxiety a little better.

We've just got to do the best we can and be strict in maintaining our schedules.

Any advice?
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6 comments:

  1. I remember being in your situation, well except for the Netflix that was not invented yet, I clearly remember the catalyst for the same change you are talking about and it was EMBARRASSING! So here are my 2 cents. I would time a task. How long does it take for me to fold a load of laundry out of the dryer? How long does it take me to clean up after a meal? etc. Once I learned it took me 7 minutes to fold a load of laundry out of the dryer and 3 hours to fold the whole shebang when I was done with ALL the laundry (and it was 3 days later) I was more willing to put in the 7 minutes to alleviate the stress of 'finding' the time to fold all of the laundry. I had to 'make' myself clean up the smaller messes as they happened instead of waiting to do the 'whole' job later. This was a big change for me and took me a few tries but in the end I realized how much time and anxiety I was saving myself. I have found that when things are more organized (never will be perfect) then my ability to handle the day to day was so much better.

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  2. Loved Karen's comment. So true. Remember that decisions to improve usually go by the wayside after a time. What is important is that you continually make that decision over and over. Love to you all

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  3. See how lucky I am to have such wise women in my life?
    My suggestion is to find what works for you and do it that way. Karen will tell you that laundry day at my house has always been Monday. No. Matter. What. Hers is different. Try all different approaches and see what fits and refine it over time. Learning to keep house is not something that happens overnight. But I'm always up for trying something new or organizing something differently to see if it works better.

    Except laundry day. Don't mess with that one.

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  4. I know this is full of swearing but this is the only system which has ever made a lasting difference to me. I am slovenly and lazy and hate cleaning. but now I actually do it, I do dishes every night! I do them! I do laundry and put it away! The things from that made the biggest difference from that system were about prepping the house before you go to bed. That way the day gets off to such a better start. The other thing was 'put it away, not down'. That stopped me leaving every single thing I own strewn across the house. Even when I do have a lazy/sick/crazy week it's not too hard to undo the chaos because the underlying habits and cleaning is already in place. http://www.unfuckyourhabitat.com/
    I also think the big difference with me was just (and apologies for a non feminist phrase) manning up and doing it. Accepting that yes, I am an adult and I am responsible for my own crap. Not doing it just means it doesn't get done. There is no magic solution to keeping a house clean than just getting off my ass and doing it. Same with morning prayer, I know how much better I feel when I do it and the only way to have done it is to do it, so I do it.

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    1. Oh and, I also have an anxiety disorder and I try and use that in a positive way to get stuff done. When I'm feeling antsy and insane I speed clean the bathroom which helps the twitchy feeling. If I need a half an hour of zen I fold laundry. There is something about creating order out of chaos which is very soothing to me and I can channel that into cleaning so that I feel less anxious and - bonus! - the house is clean too.

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  5. I'm 31 and still feel like a kid at times (probably because I don't have any of my own) but I think the biggest difference between kids and adults is that adults plan things! And I find meal planning to be the most useful, and will help you feel organized and avoid the junk.

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