4 Years

"I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"
Probably not the Wuthering Heights quote you'd expect. Usually Catherine's "whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same..." overshadows this darker one.
But Heathcliff's mad desperation at the loss of Catherine - his life and his soul - is just..... 
Tucker is my life and my soul.
It has been that way since the beginning. We are sealed for eternity, and eternity has no beginning nor end. Therefore, we've always been... "us."
Looking back, it's been over a decade of "Karli and Tucker." People knew we were a package deal, even before the romance. 

Now our package just has a couple extra add-ons! ;)

The past year has been a whirlwind, that's for sure. We added Eli to our family, Tucker landed his dream-job, we bought a house and moved, I auditioned for and was cast in a dream role - Belle, and of course, all of this has the normal craziness thrown in with some really hard trials as well.

But one of my favorite things about "Tucker and Karli" is that we face things together. Problems mean we communicate and find a solution. I love that we see it as "us vs. the problem" instead of "me vs. you." And we support each other's successes.

I was at a late rehearsal a few weeks ago while Tucker was home taking care of kids and bedtime, and this quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley came to mind:
The women in our lives are creatures endowed with particular qualities, divine qualities, which cause them to reach out in kindness and with love to those about them. We can encourage that outreach if we will give them opportunity to give expression to the talents and impulses that lie within them. In our old age my beloved companion said to me quietly one evening, “You have always given me wings to fly, and I have loved you for it.”
This is Tucker for me. He has been the most encouraging and supportive husband and father while I've taken on long rehearsals and what will be even longer performance nights.
He helps with cleaning the kitchen and bathrooms and does laundry. After we went out for dinner last night, I zonked out almost immediately while he stayed up helping a very weepy Annie settle down. When I'm craving Cowboy Fries from Filiberto's at 10pm, he reminds me I have spending money and sends me out the door (and doesn't judge me too much when I come home with McDonald's Dr. Pepper, too 😉 ) And when I'm whiny and tired and really want Zoyo, he goes and gets it himself.  A couple weeks ago, I asked him to pick up some bread and milk, and he came home with a dozen red roses! And for our anniversary, he surprised me with a night at the cabin with no kids! It was perfect, and I can't believe how lucky I am to be his wife.

He is quick to point out my strengths, and he encourages and loves me while I strive to overcome my weaknesses. He is constantly looking for feedback and working to improve himself, and I can't even tell you how proud I feel when I think of all that he has accomplished in these past 4 years.
I think that my most favorite thing about our marriage is that we help each other become better and reach our potential. We trust each other to call out our BS and ask for help and offer support and unconditional love. We know that we are better together, and we have so much fun in the process.

My favorite part of the day is in the evening after the kids are in bed when we get to sit and eat ice cream while watching a show or just talking or reading a book together or snuggling or swimming or laughing or whatever! It doesn't even matter. Because as long as we're Tucker and Karli, it's perfect.

our only picture from our weekend at the cabin

That's not to say that WE'RE perfect, though. We make mistakes. Sometimes there are hurt feelings and frustrations. But I feel so safe that WE are each other's priority. We're figuring it out. And we love each other more than anything else. For a couple years, we settled into a normal, comfortable, routine marriage. But it was a little stagnant. The past couple months, we changed that. We found the sparkle again, and it is so much better! I love being married to this man, and I can't wait to say that over and over again for the next 70+ years and into eternity.
Happy 4th Anniversary, my love.

First Bumpdate: Week 16!

A couple weeks ago, we surprised everyone with the news that we're expecting Denton #2!

Then again, some of you weren't actually all that surprised. I'd already lied to a handful of people, and that just felt weird. But I really wanted to stick to my plan of waiting until Annie's birthday to tell. I'm sorry, ok?!

May 2nd: I was 3 days late, and Tucker came home from work with a box of tests

We are so excited! After their initial congratulations, I've had a few people ask, "But how do you really feel about it?" Totally understandable because for a long time, I was completely terrified at the thought of having another child. I mean, one is hard enough, right? But Annie is such a fun and happy toddler, and I'm in a really good place with my mental health, so I felt good about it. I told Tucker I knew I was ready to start trying for another baby when my reaction would be more excitement and joy instead of mostly terror and stress. And that's exactly how it has been. I am so excited for this cute little baby to get here!
Ok, ok, let's get on to the important stuff.

Due date: January 2, 2017
Weeks along: 16 already! 

Today at 16+1

left to right: 8w, 10w, 11w (bloat goes down), 12w, 14w, 15w

Cravings: Sonic frozen strawberry lemonade mostly. I also had an intense craving for Little Caesar's Crazy Bread and tater-tots. But with the first trimester, it was mostly fruity stuff that sounded delicious, which is funny because with Annie, all I wanted was eggs and greasy, cheesy, meaty things. A few weekends ago, we went on a quick date for frozen yogurt, but I really felt like I needed Subway first, and even though I just stuck with my normal order, it was the yummiest thing I've ever had, and I almost cried. So that was probably hormones talking. And also, Panda's Orange Chicken always sounds amazing if anyone ever gets the random urge to bring me something. ;)

Boy or Girl: No clue. Tucker was leaning towards girl but now thinks boy. Annie keeps saying "sister!" and "girl!" I keep thinking how cute a boy would be. But I really have no feelings one way or another. We'll find out in a few weeks!

Nickname: Blueb (Variations: Blewb or Bloob), short for Blueberry. No idea why. Ask Tucker. Remember how Annie was Diggle?

Morning sickness: Hardly any! It's been a miracle because I was so so so sick for close to 4 months with Annie. But I only had about 2 weeks of mild morning sickness with this baby, and things have been great! Last week, there was one random bout of sickness, and Annie stood next to me patting my head and stroking my cheek and saying "Good job, Mommy!" and "Yay, Karli!" and "I flush Mommy's barf!" It was cute, but mostly I just wanted to barf in peace.
Maternity clothes: Recently got them out, and I'm loving them! I can still fit into most of my clothes, but pants are definitely getting more snug so it's nice to have that big ol' stretchy part that doesn't dig into my abdomen.
Other Symptoms: Hip pain. Yes, already. Most of the time, it's just a dull ache, but if I sit or lie in one position too long, I get really stiff and sore and have to hobble around for awhile in a lot of pain. I sleep a LOT at night, but I'm usually able to get through the day without a nap. Usually.
Announcing: We announced to my family Saturday, June 25th while they were in town. I made this little tag, and we stuck it to a bag of the pink and white Circus Animal Cookies. I handed it to them right as we were leaving out the door to go to the circus, and they loved it!

We never officially announced to Tucker's family. My MIL saw ginger-ale and Saltines on my nightstand at the cabin a month ago and knew but never said anything. She told my FIL her guess, and my SIL had been bugging me about it for weeks ever since she saw a bit of a bump because of the way I was holding Annie above my tummy. One week, she stopped me in the middle of a sentence and put her hands on my belly exclaiming, "I really think there's a baby in there!" I denied it, but she wouldn't drop it, and eventually my face gave it away. The younger in-laws found out on Annie's birthday when she opened a present with the ultrasound pictures. She really didn't know what was going on, but when we did presents and cake, one of the gift-bags had a paper with "Brother or Sister?" on it with the ultrasound pictures inside. We snapped pictures and shared on Facebook for our public announcement.

Dr. Appt: Our first appt wasn't until Annie's birthday, which is why we waited so long to announce. We thought I was about 12w+5, but the US showed me measuring about 4 days ahead at 13w+2. After the initial paperwork, they took us right back to the ultrasound room, and we got to see our little Blueb swimming and squirming! At first, I was sad we had to wait so long for our first appointment (they usually do them between 8-10 weeks), but now, I'm am so glad because we got to see more than just a jellybean in there! Cute little face and tummy and heart-beat and spine and legs and hands and toes! I wish we could have just stayed in there forever. But then it was time to meet with the doctor. After talking with him and verifying that my cycles are a little longer than average, he decided that we could move my due date from January 6th to January 2nd. I know it's only 4 days, but it just seems so much sooner! Especially when it practically pushed me into the second trimester already! Everything looked good, and he's not worried at all. He even gave me the ok for Disneyland as long as I use good judgement!!! And since I was 13 weeks and not 12 weeks, he booked my next appointment for 5 weeks out instead of 4 so we can just do the anatomy ultrasound and find out if Annie will get a brother or sister!

face

head, spine, tummy, and heart

I'm so excited, and honestly, I'm really loving this pregnancy so far. I realize I'm pretty lucky because my first was nowhere near this pleasant. Plus, it just feels like it's going by so fast, and I hope it will continue that way. We can't wait to meet our little Blueb!

TBT: When Tucker Asked Me to Prom

Monday was a pretty special anniversary around here. I was out of town and Tucker has work at 5AM so we didn't do anything to celebrate, but there were several times throughout the day that I smiled to myself at the memories.

Italicized portions are the parts I didn't know at the time but learned later.
Sunday, March 14, 2010.
It had already been a fantastic day. Early that afternoon, I'd found out that after years of hard work and spending my babysitting money on voice lessons, I'd beat every other high school vocalist in the state of Arizona and got first chair in the All-State choir. I was texting Tucker as I found out, and he nonchalantly asked if the concert would be the same day as Prom like the year before. I joked that if it was, I'd start a petition to change the day of Prom, and he responded "Ok, good, cuz that would really stink." My minds starts to wonder, but I quickly stop myself, remembering Tucker did not actually plan on going to Prom. We also established the fact that he was leaving early the next morning on family trip to Utah for Spring Break and would be gone all week.
*                *                *
A dear friend that I grew up with (we'll just call him "friend") texts Maddy trying to find out if I'd been asked to Prom yet. Maddy tells him she didn't think I'd been asked. He then asks if she's told Tucker, which she had not. Thinking he was trying to find out for Tucker, she then randomly texts Tucker that I had not yet been asked to Prom.
*                 *                 *
Friend also texts Markie to find out if I'd been asked. She happened to get the text during the one hour of time on her trip when her phone actually had service. She also confirmed that I'd not yet been asked.
*                 *                 *
Markie texts Tucker.
M: You're asking Karli to Prom, right? T: Why M: Well, if you are you'd better do it soon, cuz [Friend] wants to ask her. T: I don't know if I can. I'm leaving in the morning... M: Well then someone else is going to ask her.
*                 *                 *
Around 4PM, Tucker calls and texts my mom. He expresses concern that someone else might ask me so he's calling to "stake his claim" and asks permission to ask me to prom. Mom eagerly grants her approval.
*                 *                 *
Tucker texts Friend to let him know that he's asking me to Prom.
*                 *                 *
10 minutes after Tucker called my mom, the doorbell rings. I'm summoned upstairs. A poster on the front lawn with hurried handwriting reads, "A question for you, the answer I must know. To Prom with me? We'll stop the show. To make this 'we', 2 there must be. I have already found you; now you find me. My name be hid among the flags..." There were a bunch of papers taped to skewers with the poster. 5 of them were poked in the grass, but the rest were left on the doormat. A little rushed, no? I picked through the flags until I found Friend's name. I was trying really hard to be happy and excited. We'd been friends for years, and I'd have a fun time with him. But I'd really hoped my Senior Prom would be with someone else, and underneath, I was disappointed.
*                 *                 *
I text Joe, Tucker's text from earlier still floating in my mind... K: This is ridiculous, but do you know if Tucker really was planning on asking me to Prom? J: Last time I talked to him, he wasn't planning on going.
K: Ok, well [Friend] just asked me, but something Tucker said made me wonder... J: Well, if you think he might ask you, then maybe wait to answer [Friend]...
*                 *                 *
Tucker texts me. T: You're not going anywhere for Spring Break, are you? K: No... why? (Because we'd already been over this) T: That's what I thought K: I'm here all week. T: K. I'm gone all week. (Duh.) K: Why? T: Just making sure.
*                 *                 *
I'm confused. My family leaves to go visiting. Ashley Tucker is at Tucker's house for Sunday dinner and helps out with "stuff."
*                 *                 *
8:00PM - I leave for a Junior Staff camp meeting at the church building.
*                 *                 *
Something is happening at my empty house.
*                 *                 *
As I'm pulling into the garage, I notice a shiny, wrapped present with a big red bow behind a bush in the front yard. Oh brother. I walk in, and my whole family has these silly grins on their faces. I grab a flashlight and go collect 10 presents, all with a big red ribbon. The last one, the biggest, was on the roof... Each box was marked with a number, and I took them inside and began opening them in order.
1.

What in the world? Who has these embarrassing pictures of me???

 2.

As least they have a sense of humor...

3.

wait a minute...... Also, that is a hideous picture. Ewe.

4.

Are those rats on skewers?!

5.

Wait a second....Angelo...?!

6.

But you said you weren't going to Prom!!!!!

7.

Awwww! Look at baby Tucker!!!

8.

Well, I certainly think so....

9.

Well, if you're going to pull the sentimental card....

10.

And I really can't argue with his logic on this one....

*                 *                 *
The bottom of the last box was also covered in red Starbursts - my favorite kind. Needless to say, the next morning, I apologetically took an extra large Coldstone over to Friend's house and told him thank you, but I couldn't go to Prom with him. Tucker had my heart, and a week later, we were snuggled up in the back of the airplane on our way to San Francisco with choir.

I'm forever grateful to my mother-in-law for convincing Tucker that he really did need to ask me, to Friend for creating the competition necessary to make Tucker realize that he really did want to ask me, and to Tucker for getting up the guts to ask me in a really cheesy, beautifully romantic, silly way.
And the rest, as they say, is history. 

My Biggest Blessings

In case I haven't said enough how incredibly great this man I married is, I'm gonna say it some more. And here's proof that I'm not just biased.
Two and a half hours before I was supposed to be done with work, Tucker texted to tell me that Annie just woke up from her nap and that he was coming to pick me up so we could all go get ice cream.
Cue the tears of relief and gratitude for such an amazing husband who is so willing to serve and love and rescue and lift and carry. He does so much for our family and pretends like it's no big deal. But it is a big deal. And he's great.
He told me that his only stipulation to go get ice cream was that I had to blog about it. So I told him we had to take pictures too, of course.

Please laugh at Annie with me in this next series of shots.

She dove right in!

...so violently, that ice cream got shoved up her nose...

And then, when I got down to the cone, she stole it from me and went to town.

But at least she still offered to share!

And when she noticed that Tucker got down to his cone, she stole his, too!

She's our child, alright!
But the surprises didn't end there! Once we were back in the car, Tucker told me we were going to spend the evening watching Harry Potter. Just because we can.
So we borrowed the movies, popped some popcorn, bought a couple boxes of Mochi ice cream, and settled in for the night.
Before bed tonight, he asked me again if there's anything he can do for me.
I might not have it all together, but with this teeny girl, and with a best friend who's always got my back and will be there loving me and supporting me no matter what, I've definitely got it all.