My sanity and my life

See that? 

That's my sanity.

 If it weren't for my planner, I would still be forgetting which classes are when, and school's been going on for over a month. I've tried to use a planner or a calendar before, but I've certainly never been this dedicated to...or dependent on...one before. Black is classes or mandatory events. Red is important due dates. Green is work. Orange is Singers events. Purple is low priority, like a social life and tv shows I wanna see. Blue is "to do" items. I've turned into an organization freak. Life is just busy. That's not necessarily a bad thing. I still love my job. I go in to work even when I'm not scheduled because I just love it so much. Classes are going well. My voice is progressing (well, some days it decides to not cooperate, but most of the time it behaves ok). My friends are awesome. Life is good.

I've just been struggling with something lately, though......and that thing is dumb ol' laziness. Because I'm so busy, I sometimes just let things go or put them off. Life's not nearly as balanced as it was for those couple weeks because I don't have so much free time so I don't get bored of vegging enough to finish all my homework early and go to bed by 11. I get home exhausted, and I just want to sit and do nothing when I really should go straight to studying or practicing or showering or sleeping. It's a bit of a problem, and I get so stuck in my habits that I feel I have no power to change them.

Some things I wish I could change about the past week:

1. I was late to my first class again every single day except for Thursday, and I was only on time that day because I ran out of food, so I had to be on campus early enough to grab a bagel in the CougarEat.
2. I bit off all of my nails. I used to bite my nails all the time when I was little to the point they'd bleed, but I don't even remember the last time I just full-out bit them all off. But I did yesterday, during church no less. I'm a terrible human being.
3. I didn't get a letter for the 4th week in a row. Psh. I know I'm a baby. I'll get over it. Plus, it's understandable since he's trying to make the most of these last few months and is super busy and is staying super focused. I was just feeling selfish.
4. I didn't do any homework on Saturday or any laundry, and I watched two movies and a documentary.
5. I didn't get my mandatory full 9 hours of practicing in.
6. It snowed. Again. I'm not liking this arctic winter thing.
7. I stayed up too late.
8. I broke my "no Internet after 10:30" rule like it was no big deal.
9. My room got really messy, due to copious amounts of laundry that no longer fit in the bin and the historical decluttering of the purses.
10. I ate a lot more junk food than normal. Chees-Its. Chocolate ice cream (1 carton in a week....). Exorbitant amounts of Oreos with or without crunchy peanut butter and milk.
11. Gossiping. I thought I was good at not doing this. But in the past week, I've caught myself participating, and then I hate myself for it.
12. Mom was diagnosed with pneumonia. Thankfully, she's now on medicine and feeling much better.
13. The band of my family tradition ruby ring broke. Totally broke and I have no idea how seeing as it never leaves my finger. Plus, our favorite jeweler closed, so we have to figure out where to take it to fix it.
14. The stake called again....to tell me that stake conference is in two weeks again....and they need a choir number again. Seriously people? I've been asking you for a month and a half what I need to organize and put together for the next stake conference, and you kept saying you didn't know but that you'd let me know. Thankfully, I'm moving out of the stake in April.

Some things that I really loved and am thankful for from this past week:

1. My friend who just had his last round of chemo was able to come to church for the full three hours yesterday for the first time in 3 or 4 months. We sat together in Sunday school, and since he was feeling too weak later to make it to a family thing, we made a big, super healthy dinner together. I seriously learn so much from him.
2. Answers to prayers. I've been feeling a bit lacking when it comes to spirituality lately. I was still praying and reading my scriptures, but I just wasn't feeling much of anything, even though I was trying to take time to listen and feel. Just nothing... Kinda the same feeling I experienced about this same time last year, minus the depression, so Saturday night, I decided that would be my focus for all of Sunday. Well, every single sacrament meeting talk was on the temple and how we can really make the most of our experience in the temple, particularly in Provo where the temple can almost seem more busy and hectic and rushed than outside. Looks like I need to do better at making temple attendance a priority in my schedule. Check.
3. My awesome job and coworkers. Should I say it again? Ok. I love my work!
4. Choir concert on Wednesday was absolutely fantastic. We sang one of my favorite pieces that I've ever sung in Singers. Click on this link and go to minute 37:30. I promise you'll love it!
5. Ran into 2 of my old MVT friends back from serving honorable full time missions. :) Yay!
6. I got to hang out Friday night with some of my favorite friends in Singers. We went to our traditional SLAB pizza and sat and talked for two hours. And then they were nice enough to take me grocery shopping. :)
7. I went mattress sledding for the first time. Yep. Sledding on mattresses wrapped in plastic with a hard, fitted, plastic covering on the bottom. It's awesome because you can go on steep hills and big jumps and bumpy tracks without worrying about breaking any bones (unless you fly off altogether I guess).
8. The air quality in Utah today was higher than the national average. My asthmatic lungs were very thankful.
9. My black, leather boots from Dad and Santa. Seriously, I'm thankful for those things every time I wear them.
10. My friends. I will forever and always believe that my friends are the best friends on the face of the earth. It's true and nothing anyone says will convince me otherwise. Seriously.
11. This recording of this piece and these three men. I know I've posted this video at least 3 times on this blog, but it's my absolute favorite, and it keeps coming up on Pandora and making me happy.
12. Pillows. I'm just always thankful for pillows. Pillows are good. And happy.
13. Chocolate ice cream. 
14. I wrote an 8-page report analysis paper solely on my breaks between classes and work, writing half of it in the hour and a half before it was due, and it turned out awesome. 
15. Music. Always.

Things I'm looking forward to:

1. Singing with Singers at the BYU Devotional tomorrow morning. Tune in on BYU TV at 11 AM to watch and hear!
2. My "date" with my friend, Liz, on Thursday. :) We're going to dinner and the Romeo and Juliet symphony (or opera...I'm not sure which) together since we're currently man-less. It's going to be awesome!
3. Dinner on Wednesday with a girl from my ward who randomly texted and said that she really wanted to get to know me and talk to me and become friends and could we please go to lunch or dinner sometime. Sweet!
4. A high school friend reunion on Sunday for those of us in Provo, now that so many guys are back. I'm so excited!
5. My dear friend, who I've known since 4th grade and with whom I share many fun memories of elementary orchestra field trips and heated Poston vs. Stapley NAL matches and crazy high school shenanigans, comes home from his mission in a week!!!!!!!!!!
6. Trip to Rexburg with Singers in March. Not excited for the cold, but excited to go to Idaho for the first time. Pathetic, I know.
7. Flying home for my brother's farewell and then dropping him off at the MTC by myself.
8. May 15th. I'm gonna go crazy.
9. Summer. Just summer. Today in theory, we listened to a piece by Samuel Barber titled "Knoxville: Summer of 1915," and it just made me miss summer. Sunshine. Swimming. Picnics (in the evening when it's not too dang hot). Cicadas buzzing. Monsoons. Popsicles. Bike rides. Shorts. Star-gazing in the desert. I could keep going. I just miss summer.